The unapologetic guide to a stronger self
About Ronek
At 32 years of age, Ronek Patel recounts his interactions with older adults. Over the course of several years of therapy sessions—he began at 19 when he was diagnosed with HIV, transmitted to him by an older person—and being the most junior member in nearly all professional settings, he has striven to be acknowledged at the same level as his elder colleagues. Ronek's distinctive journey serves as an inspiration to young adults, encouraging them to recognize signs of dominance and to position themselves assertively when engaging with those who might assert their superiority based on their age and presumed wisdom.
"I am not a therapist, nor do I have life fully figured out. Much like you, I am a young man. The label 'boy' has frequently been ascribed to me, and societal norms dismiss its significance as inconsequential. My life journey has been accompanied by persistent adversity. At nineteen, I was diagnosed with HIV. As someone of Indian heritage, I have faced racism within the predominantly white culture of America. Additionally, our young people are often dismissed into this 'boy' category, depreciating our value and obstructing our recognition as equal members of society. My experiences have been varied, encompassing challenges you may resonate with or wish to avoid—including emotionally abusive relationships, unhealthy situationships, paternal disapproval, body image issues, and the burdensome expectations imposed by family, work, and the greater society."
Back in 2011, my HIV status led me to label myself strictly as gay. For over a decade, I immersed myself in the gay community, convinced that this was my true identity. However, as I embarked on my journey through therapy, I uncovered deeper layers of my attraction towards men—they were rooted in unresolved issues with my father. Seeking validation from older men filled a void that my father had never addressed. Through therapy and my experiences with HIV, I eventually found the courage to embrace a new chapter in my life. I've started dating women, a choice that feels much more genuine and in line with what I've always desired, yet never believed I could attain. Initially, the acceptance of my HIV status within the gay community provided comfort, but now, with the realization that being undetectable means I cannot transmit the virus, I feel empowered to explore what truly resonates with me. This journey has opened doors, allowing me to pursue connections that reflect my authentic self.
I wrote this book after witnessing and enduring the effects of generational behaviors on us young individuals. Such societal pressures can lead to substance misuse, mistrust, an inability to be vulnerable, and clinging to erroneous beliefs, all of which can impede the development of a strong sense of self and hinder the ability to forge strong relationships and connections with others.
Though I acknowledge my own imperfections and continue to wade through the complexities of life, I have come to understand the importance of self-care for mental well-being. If we are unable to protect our own welfare, is it wise to allow others to dictate our life paths? This book aims to be a navigational tool through the rugged terrain of life, providing approaches to defend yourself and secure your future, helping you to cultivate only the strongest relationships and connections in your life while helping to promote a high self-worth.